I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Feelin’ 22

Today marks my 22nd birthday. I dreaded this day ever since I turned 21, because I knew at this time I would have moved away and no longer been near many of my friends. Luckily one of my good friends lives within a half an hour of me and took pity on me to take me out to dinner.

But this birthday also marks growing apart in my college friendships. I was at work all day and expected a bunch of messages from people I haven’t gotten to see since graduation. Some people who were considered my best friends haven’t even wished me a happy birthday.

For the past couple of years it seemed like everyone was very excited for my birthday, and attended parties and get togethers for the occasion. Now I feel like maybe I valued our friendship more.

Now I have forgotten a couple of birthdays before, but I thought at least someone would remember. But I guess this is what growing up means.  Although people have forgotten my birthday, I still will make sure to remember theirs.

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This Video about Gay Marriage Simultaneously Makes Me Thrilled and Appalled.

This Video which has recently gone viral shows 13 children of varying ages 5-13 and their reactions to two marriage proposals, both of which are of same-sex couples. Watch the video yourself:

At first, a lot of the younger children seemed confused about what was happening, not understanding who the man was proposing too, because there was no woman.  Then they slowly started to understand this new concept.

The older kids made be pretty happy. They’re old enough where there’s more romantic interaction in peers their age, and they were overall positive with their views on gay marriage.

Even almost all of the younger children were baffled that some places still don’t allow same sex marriage and understood the inequality that exists for people of different sexual orientation.

I was really excited that we’re making such progress, whether these kids instinctively believe in equality for all, or if modern parents are doing their job to raise them right.

And then there was Lucas, the five-year-old. He had a very clear understanding of what “gay” meant, as shown when he asked if both couples were gay. And when asked how he felt about it, he claimed he was a part of the group that doesn’t like gay.  And I kept hoping while they kept asking him questions, he might change his mind, but sadly not.

The thing was he kept saying that he didn’t like gay people, but gave no reason to back his feelings, except that “gay is bad.” This saddens me.  Here’s a very influential child, and clearly someone has told him that he should not like people who are not heterosexual.

So this video shows both the future of how our children will see the world, and the progress we still have to go.  I wish they would do a version of this film in a place other than California, as I feel so jaded by the acceptance of people here. I sometimes forget there are other parts of the world that don’t feel all love is equal.

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An Open, Honest Letter to My Cheating Ex

Dear Ex,

The end of my freshman year and your junior year when we met in college, you were the sweetest and most attentive guy I’d ever met.  You would text me all the time, and would tell me how happy you were to hear my voice when I would call.  You were at summer school, while I worked back home and all I wanted to do was be back in the same town as you.

When it was time to come back to school, I had to see you the moment I got back.  Seeing you everyday brought out your true self, and it wasn’t very attractive.  You let your female friends and an old girlfriend tell you I was ugly and how you were out of my league, and you didn’t defend me at all. You would ask to borrow money, which I never asked you to pay me back for, because a good portion of your monthly allowance went to your weed habit.

While we were at a party at your house, I saw you get her number, and when she texted you, I let you convince me it wasn’t a big deal; you were just being nice.  Then you did it. You left me at your house on halloween, when you said you were actually using the restroom, and after you begged me to leave my friends, because you wanted to see me. After a long day of not hearing from you, you asked me to come over, and you broke the news to me.  You cheated on me, and you didn’t want to see me anymore. A week before my birthday. The week of midterms.

But that’s not where your control on me stopped. You would text me asking how I was doing, you even still wanted to see me on my birthday, but bailed on what I had originally planned. And all I could do was ask why you hurt me, and you listed all my flaws, from my looks to my lack of sexual experience. You even explained you had been hooking up with other girls during the entire duration of our relationship. And in that moment I felt worthless.  This continued for a long time and that was the most difficult year of my life. Even after that year, you and that girl moved in to the house directly below mine, and I had to be reminded of my worthlessness every day for another year.

I failed my physics class, I was not performing well at work.  I spent a lot of my free time sleeping and not caring about my looks. You took away all my self-confidence, and I had a hard time with every relationship after that for the past three years. I’m finally at a place where I feel confident and am very happy with my life.

So I forgive you. I will never receive the apology I deserved, but I can’t hold on to such resentment.  I’m finally at a place where my heart doesn’t break every time I think about you.  You were a valuable lesson, and I won’t let anyone take control of my confidence like that ever again.


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After 3 months of seemingly endless job searching,  I finally got a job offer for a chemist position! I am incredibly excited that I have the opportunity to grow my skills and establish myself in a field I went to school for!

Words cannot express the relief I felt to finally be employed, and it was probably the most stressful point in my life. It was the largest emotional roller coaster from driving to interviews only to be denied, and applying for jobs for multiple hours a day, but it all paid off!

Now I’m about to be thrown into a whirlwind of apartment hunting, first days, and life in a new city!

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The Easiest Way to 5k!

I was never one to enjoy running, let alone choose to run anymore than half a mile.  But, part of me REALLY, REALLY wanted to start running so I could participate in 5k races.

And so one day I started to run… and I certainly did not make it up the 3.1 miles needed for my goal.

And then I found this little gem! It’s awesome because you gradually work up to  a 5k.  This worked, because I knew I was physically capable of doing it, I just kept failing mentally.



In addition to this, here are some of my tips to help you with your growth to a 5k:

  • Make a playlist: Play upbeat songs, maybe ones you haven’t heard in a while to keep you distracted and not focusing on the physical pain.
  • Run Outdoors: It really hard to run on a treadmill, because it’s so monotonous
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When Your World Falls Apart

Ever since I was little, I always wanted to be a doctor. As I got older, I narrowed that life goal down to pediatrics. I was on the right track for this in high school.  My courses consisted of AP science and math classes, and I graduated with honors and a 4.0+ GPA.  Once I entered college, I listed my emphasis as pre-med and I completed all the needed biology classes on top of my already rigorous classes for my chemistry major.

It takes amazing grades, extracurricular activities, and internships to get into med school.  I worked almost 30 hours a week, every week, so achieving all of these was impossible and slowly the light started to fade out on my dream job.  That’s when my writing teacher for my class on health science writing came in.  She told me about programs and every public university which was for post-grads to take more science classes to boost their GPAs, which significantly boosted their chances of being accepted into med school.  After looking at my grades and personal statement, she was convinced they would love to take me into this program.

So I submitted my application, got two great letters of rec, and anxiously waited for my second chance to get into med school.  I would take out a loan and not work if I had to, I just couldn’t lose my dream! So I waited for two months waiting to hear back.

Then I got the email with the judgement on my acceptance. I was not accepted.  They suggested taking extra classes and getting at least B+’s in all of them.  The thing was I just graduated, there was no longer an opportunity to take more classes.

Now, I feel incredibly lost. After a lifetime of having my heart set on becoming a doctor, as well as working almost full time and running constantly on no sleep to achieve this dream, it’s no longer possible.  Now onto Plan B.

I’m left picking up the pieces of broken dream, and as I search for a new career path, I am terrified that it’ll be a mistake.

Posted in Food For Thought, Matters of the Heart, Post-grad Struggles | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Top 8 Social Media Pet Peeves

I am a huge Social Media Follower.  I Love knowing what my friends are up to, especially because I am terrible at reaching out to them.  I love sharing in the happiness that is their life! But then there are the people who make me want to throw a shoe at them.

1. Young, Insecure Parents- We all have those people from highschool who unexpectantly had a child before they were financially secure, and most likely not emotionally ready either.  Good for you for bringing a child into this world, I’d love to see pictures, I love babies! But please, stop complaining about how hard everything is. Those who are in your same situation understand, reach out to them privately. I don’t need to hear how you get no sleep, or that it’s extremely difficult to attend college with a child, or that you are having money trouble.  I, too, understand these things, and this is why I don’t have a child at this point in my life. But these, to me, seem to depict your child as a burden, not a blessing. Share the joy of your child’s life, not the negative of yours.

2. The Crazy Cat Lady- Now I have a friend who absolutely loves animals.  That’s cool, me too! But the thing is when every single picture posted on Insta or Facebook is of a dog or cat, doing essentially the same thing, just sitting there being said animal, I don’t need the hourly update.

3. In Case You Forgot What My Face Looks Like- Those people who post many selfies a day, maybe in a car, maybe at work, you know nothing very exciting.  Use SnapChat for this, my friends.  You’re clearly just trying to fish for compliments, and it’s making you unattractive.  Get some confidence for goodness sakes! You’re beautiful, you don’t need anyone to tell you that!

4. Facebook Dictates My Social Life: Are there any cool parties tonight? I’m feeling lazy, convince me I should go out.  OMG, getting my hair cut, should I go short?  Dude. Why are you asking everyone on Facebook? How about texting a friend for their opinions.  If you’re in my position, many people don’t even live in the same area as you and probably don’t want you blowing up their feed with such questions.  Also, the hair thing, again you don’t need Facebook to validate what you think is attractive. Be independent, you can make your own decisions.

5.  The Political Dumbass- Everyone knows these people, the ones who post Obama Sucks, I hate Republicans, etc. Basically, people who seem to post that they are unhappy with said person, but provide no insight to their reasoning.  You chose to get political, back it up with facts, I’m down to read it.  But being ignorant is just frustrating and it scares me you have the right to vote.

6. The Passive Aggressive Fighter- “I’m so happy to rid myself of people who aren’t really my friends” Awkward. And according to Facebook, you’re probably still friends otherwise you wouldn’t be posting this.  This make everyone feel uncomfortable. Just Stop. You’re and adult, handle your problems like one.

7. The Meat Head- “Getting Ripped!- at the local gym” Cool bro, congrats on getting fit! The next day… “No Pain, No Gain!- at the local gym” Dude. You just posted the same thing yesterday, I don’t need to keep track of your fitness schedule.  Again, example of someone needing to validate themselves.

8. Get a Room Couple- Those couples who endlessly post on each other’s walls, confessing their love for each other.  Go on cool date? Post it! A trip together? I’d love to see pictures! Got engaged? I’ll be the first to congratulate you! But, please stop with the Thanks, for everything babe I love you! Sorry ladies, you’re boyfriends all suck. Well, gee thanks.  I hate these people, I know you love your significant other, that’s why you’re with them! But don’t be condescending about my relationship, and don’t post messages that just seem like you need to prove your relationship to the internet.


What are somethings that bother you?

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